friendship ..

......
worst day of ESSS ?
yea , prob..
first time in ESSS having friendship prob..
n guess wad..
its totally RIDICULOUS !
i mean ..
okays , tell u wad



its like..
b4 class starts..
she ask me whether wanna go bmt tmr or not
n as it is self training..
i naturally felt lazy to go
she say wanna go n then help Azie on her bmt..
i was like
"huh? u wan help azie that wad does it got to do with me?"
but i oso noe she wan me help too.
so..i think abt it.
but im not sure whether i will be free tmr..
cuz maybe joey would wan go out tmr..
so i said idk...
n then..
she keep *begging* me..
well sort of ,
ok ,not really..just pursuade me to go
n i guess..its becos she will be partially lonely..
but yet i dk i can go..
n i dun wanna give u empty promises kays
so too bad.
all i can say is dunno dunno..
n more dunno..==
gosh..
by that time...i NOE u r gonna get angry now n then
but what else can i do?
im really depressed le..
but oso , i was hoping u would just forget abt it
n act like its one other normal thing.
but how i noe..u didn't..
chinese class.
again..pursuade..
but more angrily..
i can sense it alr
u don't have to lie
i dun need u to tell i oso noe
is like i noe u quite long le ,
how can i not noe ur body language?
so im kinda worried?
then how i noe u suddenly pissed? i think?
n then ignores
now i really dun understand
what is there to be angry huh?
i mean? did i do wrong? no rite?
so why?
if i don't go , does it really matter?
==
n so the silence continued...
chinese ending soon,
then her actions become more direct
so i ask why u angry..
n pls lo , ur body language gave u away liao kays ,
i can immediately see u r angry
n yet ,
u still choose to say no
yea ..like i believe..==
chi ended ,
i rushed out quickly ,
i felt ff-ing pissed le
so i go first
by that time ,
im alr quite pissed with u ,
n dun blame me for that kays ,
its u start this first
so it goes on..
ignores ignores..
sci..
emoing..
reccess?
joins chanel n syaza
glad in a way
at least i noe i still have good* friends
thanks anyways! (:
i saw u with the juniors..
n i know u have nobody to follow
then..i suddenly felt very sorry n soft in the heart
felt like im ps-ing you
it felt just like all the anger just dissapear
but i dunno wad to do
followed chanel n syaza
isat down
n suddenly u came n talk to me..
shocked?
n the talked to u casually..
i dk wad to say actually
aft that..
finally got to talk abt it again?
u asked me agn
i said yes..
i dunno wad u felt but..
i just feel that since u wan me go , then i just accompany u?
but how i noe.
u just said that
"u dun go or go , i oso dun care"
u noe wad?
this sentence immediately make me think u r very
unreasonable?
i mean ,okays , so u said u dun care,
then why the heck in the first place you wan to pursuade me so hard?
i mean ,
first u were beggin me to go
then u say u dun care
dun make sense okays
n thats when i can officially say u ARE angry
and i can say u did that for nth
so we continued to ignores for the whole day
SFL
a few time we made eye contacts
but idk..just dun want to face you
u too..
i noe
n i just continue ignores
n then..go home..
okays , thats the end
pathetic? damn it , yes!
dun u think so?
what the crap is this manx..
is this really wad you wanted?
like u said in your msn note
a friendship takes 1 yr to build
but by one trival matter ,
JUST ONE
can mak us ignore the whole day
which takes onli 1 day
what shyt nia
==
like i say , is this wad u wan?
is this the onli solution?
can't we talk throu it?
i seriously dun wan to end this friendship
but today , i seriously can't take it anymore
i dare say u are xiao qi kays
dun deny , thats you
thats what i see as u in one way
really! wads there to be angry?
kays , maybe u r also angry just becos im going out with HIM*
but i onli said IF!
so means i can still go
plus this decision is mine kays
if there is really an explanation for that ,
tell me kays?
i also don't want to blame you anyhow..
but..thats the truth in me
what i really think about this
i also wish i was wrong about u..
i wish you were not xiao qi at all
i REALLY wish u r more understandable..
this one ,not really applies to this incident only
other times too
so..
i hope you will be more forgiving..
just let this matter rest




hais..at least i write this ,
i really feels better in a way
i spilled everything out?
.......
gdbyes **